How to Support Other Women at Work

How to Support Other Women at Work
From Recruiter - January 11, 2017

I just dont like working with women, she said to me over coffee. They are so catty. Id prefer to work with men, and when I look around, all of my friends are men, too.

I used to feel that way, I responded. Then I realized that the women I didnt like were more like me than I thought they were. Somehow, rather than reject them, I learned to embrace them.

It took me years to demonstrate my support of womenespecially when a woman was unkind to me at work. It is extremely challenging to work with someone you dont likeor worse, with someone who openly dislikes you.

Frankly, Ive reached the point in my life where I dont want to feel angry. Its not a pleasant feeling, and it takes energy to be angry. Over the last five years, Ive realizedthat how I view other women has a bigimpact onhow I treat themand on whether or not I support them.

Its all backward. I look outside, and then I judge or come to a conclusion. The irony is there is nothing to judge on the outside. Its all just how I see things. My perception of another woman at work is not a truthits just some fable my mind makes up.

Few people are bold enough to spend time working on how they see the world. Most will spend hours, days, years, even entire lifetimes trying to change whats going on outside themselves instead of inside their own heads. Frankly, I gave that up. I cannot change anything outside myself, but I can perpetually work on how I engage and how I think about others. Its one thing to dislike what someone does, but its not good to dislike the person.

Yet, we all do it. We all look to and fixate on the outside. For example: trying to get the right body; trying to have the perfectmarriage;trying to be the overachiever at work. On and on it goes, but we are never satisfied.

And as women, when we perceive a threat from someoneespecially from another woman at workwe sometimes come to some badconclusions:

Boy is she fat.

Wow. Nice hair.

She isnt a good mother. Did you see what she just did with her kid?

She acts like that for mens attention. How pathetic.

Total garbagebut its there in our minds.

So, how do you overcome the reflex to reject another woman?

Start by looking at your initial thoughts about her when you first come into contact with her. What you will find is that 99 percent of what your mind tells you about her isnt even true.

Here are five ways to cultivate a mindset of openness and support for other women in the workplace:

1. Be Open to Changing Your Mind


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